Emotional Inventory – Lessons Learned

Lessons learned.

On Feb. 12, 2012 we crossed from Oregon into the state of California. As we made our way down I-5, we realized that this was our first moment alone as a family in a long time and it was our first stop where we were not staying with friends or family. The Gateway RV Park welcomed us to Redding, CA and as we pulled into our site (late night arrival) we found the ground to be uneven. Grant’s pass was not kind and we were exhausted from the drive. I could tell Craig was limited in the energy he had and I didn’t want to nag much about the leaning of Celu’haven but I did voice my concern just before heading into town to pick up some groceries. I was gone for about an hour and during that time I had resigned myself to the fact that we were probably going to end up sleeping with a tilt.

The site was quite upon my return and as I crawled in bed I propped my pillow up so the blood wouldn’t flow to my head all night. I had a restless night sleep, tossing and turning as I felt myself slipping head down. The next morning when we woke Craig asked how my sleep was and I answered, “horrible, I felt like I was falling all night.” He lay silent and offered no empathy or mutual concern. As I made my way back from the community bathroom I noticed that the left wheels of the bus were up on blocks. I was in a quandary. I thought, “What?! When did he do this? Couldn’t have been when I was in the toilet as there wouldn’t have been enough time and I would have heard him.” And then it dawned on me,  “he did this last night, when I was at the store!” I rushed into the bus and had a look. Sure enough, it was level. I went back to my bedroom, it was level too. I slept all night totally convinced that I was on an uncomfortable angle!

I went to the main room and everyone had a big smile on their faces. I lowered my eyes and said, “So, it seems I’ve deceived myself.” We all had a good laugh. Funny thing is, this is quite common. We walk around believing that we are the victim, truly believing it and all along our perception is wrong.  If only I would have been open, maybe trusted that Craig was really going to look out for us, maybe investigated a little, I would have had quite the restful night. In the end, it was a good lesson to learn. The lesson that my emotions aren’t always the end of the story. The lesson that we are on this journey as a family and the biggest lesson in learning to trust that we can trust one another. Really trust.

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Published by

Jana Holland

www.thehollands.org

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